MyMind Counselling Services
 
Feelings


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Feelings are rich when they are responding to the truth, however it's all to common for them to be contaminated,
connected to poor interpretation or welded to trauma's or bad experiences or attached to toxic family mottos or world views or religious beliefs. It's understandable to think, 'I feel it, therefore it must be true'. The feeling is real but it's not necessarily true.
Emotional base reasoning is most unreliable. Things are not as they are, they are as we are, how we interpreted what we feel about them. How we interpret things eventually becomes what we believe about them.
And it is painfully evident that what we believe in the depths of our hearts (our subconscious) matters more than anything else in the world, for it alone will determine our 'reality'.
Feelings are a great indicator of what is going on in the subconscious and as such can help us become more aware.
MyMind Counselling will help you through the process of becoming aware and then sorting out what is true and what is not.
This is done by Facing and Tracing the miserable or unbearable feelings and the thoughts attached to them and
Replacing them with empowering truths (insights). These can come from within you or through education.
Responding powerfully with appropriate emotions, based on the truth, to the internal and external factors that make up life
will eventually come naturally to you and so radically change your life.
 

Wisdom around feelings from Dr Doc Downing – Matt Perelstein and Others

  1. Feelings expressed verbally will reduce in intensity and are free to change.
  2. In each of us there are places we have never gone.
    Only by pressing the limits can we ever find them. - Dr Joyce Brothers
  3. If you are creating feelings of Powerlessness, you can un-create them. It is only by taking responsibility for how you feel and how you behave that you can change.
  4. If you feel Anger long enough, unresolved and unexpressed, it will turn into Depression.
  5. Our behaviours are governed by two things: Feelings (affective, right-brain) and Thoughts (cognitive, left-brain)
  6. If feelings get too strong, one of the following will happen. You will either: Get Even - Get Sick - Get Out - Get Help!
  1. Action conquers fear- Peter Nivio Zarlenga
  2. The 7 Steps to Healing our Feelings
    1. Awareness that we do Feel
    2. Knowing what our body Feels
    3. Allowing our Feelings
    4. Expression of Feelings, as deeply as they are felt
    5. Release of negative Feelings
    6. Replacement of dark with light, gloom with bright
    7. Rejoice! and celebrate life, love, pain, the whole enchilada
  3. How feelings are created:
    1. EVENTs Happen.
    2. We put a MEANING on these events.
    3. FEELINGS are created in reaction to the meanings.
    4. We act (BEHAVIOURS) based on what we feel
  4. Judgments are Debatable. Feelings are not.
  5. No one can Make you feel anything, except physical pain.
  6. Feeling Powerless often breeds Anger.
    Types of Powerlessness include feeling:
        - Helpless or Vulnerable
        - Pressured or Rushed
        - Controlled, Manipulated or Used
        - Trapped, Cornered or Stuck
  7. If you have a long list of "You shoulds" or "People shoulds", you'll make others miserable.
    If you have a long list of "I shoulds", you'll make yourself miserable.
  8. The Three Types of Disappointment:
         "I should..."
         "It should..."
         "You/people should..."
  9. Change your Expectations and your life will change.
  10. 13th Commandment - Thou shall not ‘Should’ on thyself.
  11. We cannot cut off just one feeling.
    When we repress feelings, they all get repressed together.
  12. All violence stems from feelings of powerlessness.
  13. We are absolutely powerless to change others.
    But we are absolutely powerful to change ourselves.
  14. If we don't express our feelings early, we are more likely to repress them.
  15. Feelings are the common denominator of all human beings.
  16. Powerful (empowering) question to ask yourself:
      "Is what I'm doing getting me what I want, in the long run?"
  17. Examples of lies that deny feelings:
      "Get up, that didn't hurt."
      "Big boys don't cry."
      "Nice girls don't get angry."
      "Smile or people won't like you."
  18. Feeling angry is not a problem. Repressing feelings and letting them build up until we do something stupid with them... THAT's a problem.
  19. I was angry with my friend
    I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
    I was angry with my foe
    I told him not, my wrath did grow.
    - William Blake, "The Angry Tree"
  20. A historical Fact + Shame = a painful Secret
  21. Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside us will affect us. - Stephen Covey
  1. We cannot always control what goes on Outside. But we can control what goes on Inside." - Wayne Dyer
  2. There are 2 kinds of Guilt: a punishing, unhealthy guilt, and a productive, mature guilt.
  3. Depression is Anger turned inward.
  4. Guilt and shame are both optional.
  5. Feelings need to be expressed verbally, as intensely as they are felt.
  6. The more you know, the better your best can be.
  7. Nothing is FOREVER.
  8. Feelings aren’t good or bad they just ARE.
  9. As FEELINGS go up, LOGIC comes down.
  10. We get through FEAR by doing what we are afraid to do.
  11. Feeling Feelings, Heals Feelings.
  12. What you’re doing is what you want to do (or at least a major part of you).
  13. Feelings really ARE the Answer.
  14. You can only make logical decisions about what you are aware of.
  15. Emotional pain is not terminal.
  16. What you protect, you make weak.
  17. Awareness is the first key to Change.
  18. Difference doesn’t make WRONG, it makes INTERESTING.
  19. What you resist will persist.
  20. To repress a feeling is to give it unlimited power.
  21. Shame is Optional. Give it back.
  22. Guilt is Optional. ALWAYS.
  23. Whenever you feel GUILTY, you set yourself up to be punished.
  24. Resentment comes from the repression of feelings, not the expression of feelings.
  25. You always feel something before you feel angry.